August 28, 2011
August 27, 2011
August 20, 2011
August 19, 2011
|(Photograph by Haley Hetrick)|
In approximately 5 hours I will be on my way to the airport, to catch a plane, headed for New York City.
Next time I return to the home I have spent the past ten years of my life in, it will be December, and much will have changed. I expected to sit in my room feeling depressed by the emptiness of the walls and the suitcases that sit in a row by the door, but I don't. I thought my room would suddenly transform into an empty space, void of myself. But as long as I stay here, perched on the edge of my bed, it is still mine. The amount of photographs on the wall or the books on the shelves, no longer epitomizes my life. I do. That's what I've been finding most frightening. This feeling that as long as I remain where I am, all that I have held dear will still be mine, but that the moment I leave, I will lose those places, those memories, those relationships. They won't belong so intimately to me anymore, and like my room, they will become empty space.
Despite the weird, calm fragility of my emotions this past week, I am happy. I am, I am, I am.
Maybe once I get to my new city, poetry and prose will start leaking back into my fingertips, creaking into the cracks between my toes, nestling within the tangerine tinted sunbeams of my soul. Until then: "This is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be."
August 12, 2011
|(photo by the Sartorialist)|
Don't try to see through the distances. That's not for human beings.
Move within, but don't move the way fear makes you move.
Today, like every other day, we wake up empty and frightened.
Don't open the door to the study and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument.
Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground. -Rumi
August 9, 2011
I always tell the girls, never take it seriously. If you never take it seriously, you never get hurt, if you never get hurt, you always have fun, and if you ever get lonely, just go to the record store and visit your friends."
August 8, 2011
the jittery / important / affectations / make it seem / better. / isn't that true of life? / it seems / better / to live in a dream / unaware of / the grave. / so we tremble / we ask / do you eat meat? / do you take cream? / did you / sleep well? / did you love me? / calmly, / while biting the worms / from our fingernails / rubbing the dirt from our eyes.