June 30, 2013

Star Hole

I sit here 
on the perfect end
of a star,

watching light
pour itself toward me.

The light pours
itself through 
a small hole
in the sky.

I'm not very happy, 
but I can see
how things are

Richard Brautigan.

June 28, 2013

I want to be alone, but not too alone. I want to be the same but different.

Jonathan Franzen.

June 25, 2013

The last time I saw you, you were certainly one of the nicest people I had ever seen. Now I hear that you are learning to dance. That makes you just about perfect.

Kurt Vonnegut.

June 22, 2013

I leave the number and a short
message on every green Volvo
in town
Is anything wrong?
I miss you.

The phone rings constantly.
One says, Are you bald?
Another, how tall are you 
in your stocking feet?

Most just reply, Nothing's wrong.
I miss you, too.

The Ubiquity of the Need for Love, Ronald Koertge

June 18, 2013

today: I was brave in the small things.

June 16, 2013

today: ate a crepe in the Sunday afternoon sun.

My dad hasn't been perfect, and I've inherited some of his flaws. But the beauty is that despite his shortcomings, he has also been one of my best friends for almost 20 years. I've learned hard work, kindness, authenticity, and generosity from him. Thank you daddy, for never leaving us like your dad left you, or like his father before him, left him. You broke a pattern of abandonment, and replaced it with one of protection, provision, and trust. I love you.

June 15, 2013

today: set up my hammock by the river and took a nap.

June 14, 2013

June 13, 2013

today: finished the first essay in jonathan franzen's "how to be alone."

June 12, 2013

today: found this wonderful 65+ year old used bookstore downtown.

June 10, 2013

Southern State.

In the dry spot where East Tolly splits in two

the narrow middle-class

lace their fingers and tap their knees,

while the rabbits sing.

Cloistered and prattled,

dimpled and thick-

they wobble in the humidity,

and caddy past the pond.

(I used to dream my brother drowned

in a hot air balloon.)

Now I drink the dank air

and drag my lust through the dirt.

I bleed,

but bandage the mirror.

June 9, 2013

June 8, 2013

(Sally Mann)

June 7, 2013

I don't care about truth. I want some happiness.

F. Scott Fitzgerald.

June 3, 2013

(Mark Borthwick)

June 1, 2013

Nothing was irrevocable; everything was within reach… I could make promises to myself and to other people and there would be all the time in the world to keep them. I could stay up all night and make mistakes, and none of it would count.

Joan Didion.